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Apex Recovery Blog

The Effects of Living With an Alcoholic Spouse or Partner

a person passed out holding a glass of alcohol

Alcoholism is an all-encompassing disease that affects more than just the party abusing the substance. Partners, spouses, and family members are all directly affected by having a loved one who is suffering. Alcoholism can be a hindrance and you may not even realize it. 

If someone you love struggles with alcohol abuse, it might be time to seek treatment. This is not only an option that is beneficial for them but one that is for you as well. Living with an alcoholic spouse is a struggle. 

Let’s take a look at some of the side effects that come along with living with an alcoholic. We’re here to help you figure out what in your life will change once you both make the decision to talk to someone and figure out the steps to recovery. 

Cesspool of Feelings

There is an emotional storm that comes with living with someone who suffers from alcohol abuse. One that is not always recognized at first. The emotional torment is one that may be chalked up to the stress of everyday life. 

When you break it down, alcoholism is a slow progression of distrust and emotional turmoil. Those who have a spouse who suffers may see that they begin to disbelieve small things. Lies may become more prominent as their partner drinks more and they work to cover it up. 

Admitting that alcohol has taken over a partner’s life isn’t something commonly spoken about. Many individuals suffering from a loved one who abuses alcohol tend to pretend it isn’t happening. They often make up excuses for their partner not being present. 

Bargaining and Pleading

Asking a loved one to get help is something that you might find yourself doing often. You want nothing more than to see your partner thriving and unhindered by their vice. A spouse with an alcohol problem may make you more volatile and will make you feel like you’re speaking without being hurt. 

Reasoning with a partner may not do you any good. You will feel like you’re constantly being ignored in your feelings and your emotions. This has the chance to continue to develop as the years pass by. 

Alcohol abuse makes the entire family feel vulnerable to trying to fix small problems. This is due to the fact that oftentimes, the larger issues are ones that cannot be contained.  

Children Can Also Suffer

The children who are in the house with this type of abuse will also see the side effects of alcohol abuse by a parent. They may learn to be distrustful or guarded due to a parent’s behavior. These children are not always given the best mental health help to cope with their parent’s struggles

Children of an alcoholic may need added guidance to understand what is happening within their home. They will also need to discuss how they feel about the ongoings of trauma and how to find healthy ways to cope with what has taken place. 

If you have an alcoholic partner and there are children involved, it would be a great decision to seek help in order to take care of your children and the irreparable damage they might be experiencing. 

Rise of Domestic Violence

Many cases of domestic violence in the home come from the abuse of things such as drugs and alcohol. Alcohol emotionally charges the brain and depending on the individual’s reaction, there can be violence that takes place. These types of domestic violence cases may feel isolating. 

Domestic violence is not always simply physical violence. It can also be classified as emotional abuse and control as well.

If your partner continues to show signs of these types of violence, protecting yourself is necessary. You are not responsible for the way they act while they drink. 

This is a very difficult notion to understand. For many of those individuals who struggle with partners who suffer from alcoholism, accepting that you are not to blame isn’t an easy task. This may require therapy to fully accept that there is nothing you could have done to change the way they act. 

Intimacy Issues

Partners who struggle with alcohol abuse may have intimacy issues. You may find that the stimulant is making your partner lose interest in things such as being intimate. For many alcohol abusers, alcohol is the only thing that takes control and inhibits their brain. 

If you’re finding that your partner is drinking more and losing their drive, it may be an indicator that they’re using alcohol as a coping mechanism for dealing with other points of anxiety and agitation. In this event, you want to suggest to them that it is time to speak with a doctor about their options. 

Financial Dependence

Alcohol is not the cheapest dependency that can be developed. One of the signs of alcohol abuse is when your partner is spending much of their income purchasing alcohol. This is a big indicator that there is an unresolved problem going on. 

When the bills begin to pile up and yet your partner always seems to have the time and financial stability to afford their clutch, it’s time to talk to a professional. Many home foreclosures happen due to the fact that an individual has a dependency that they can’t stop. 

Living With an Alcoholic Spouse Isn’t Easy

Dealing with a spouse who is dealing with an alcohol addiction isn’t easy. You cannot force them to receive treatment when they aren’t ready to do so. An alcoholic spouse can also do a number on your own mental health. 

If you’re struggling with a partner who needs alcoholism treatment, remember that there is help for you to seek too. When you’re ready, let’s get started talking about all of your recovery options

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